It's 9:44 pm.
I have just got the kids to bed, my wife has gone to sleep, the laundry is spinning, and I've just finished an 11 hour work day. Who said a dad doesn't do a "second shift" most days?
It got me thinking about what we sacrifice as fathers. What do we give up because we have a family to be responsible for? I see my time slips away. I can't work on the wooden ship model I have as much as I'd like to. There are movies I'd love to watch, but I know my kids would not enjoy them. There is a saxophone gathering dust in the corner - not played since the end of college. I sometimes wonder about joining a soccer league. There are even things I would do with my job if I didn't have a family to care for. But my time is given to more important things - like bedtime routines, tickle fights, back rubs, and conversations about Polly Pocket.
And I know there are men who sacrifice more than I do. Men like those in a Dads Group I'm running right now. Men who haven't seen their children for months and therefore sacrifice those bedtime routines, the spontaneous tickle fights, and the quiet back rubs. These are men who come home to an empty house or apartment because their children just aren't there for whatever reason. These are men who have time to watch those movies, work on a hobby, or spend extra hours at work because they don't have to rush home to anyone. When I think of these guys, I wonder who is sacrificing more.
It makes me appreciate all the more the opportunity I have to sacrifice the things that don't last for those moments that build memories and a legacy.
It gives the sacrifice purpose.
What do you sacrifice for your children?
I have personally found that it is the things we give that define who we are. So, being a father for me, is a life-change, it is part of being really an adult. I see those who don't want to invest their time into their kids as guys who are snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory. Here's something worth doing. The only loss is to fail to give your heart.
ReplyDeleteWhen my ten year old son comes up and gives me a hug, I wonder with a little asperity, what he's going to ask me to buy him. But I am also glad that I have sons who do not fear, but rather love, and feel safe around by their dad.
Warren
W
I too know the feeling of sacrifice. I too am in the same boat as some of those men who are not able to put their kids to bed every night. How the simple things in life are in fact the bigger things in life. So many times people complain about the little things. It seems that for the bigger things in life we are able to manage better. There are supports out there that can help you through a divorce, but when it comes to stay and watch your kid fall asleep being comfortable knowing that you are their daddy and can sleep peacefully knowing that, but yet you end up having to leave prior to being able to watch them sleep or know that their sleep will be interupted because they will end up having to go home to their other house. What support is their. Non, you just have to come to terms and accept that, that is the way things are right now. And so you move on in life always feeling a void. Just think, If I am feeling the void, how does my daughter feel.
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