Privilege and Responsibility

Kids are all looking for a man to look up to.

So much of being a dad is my attitude.  I've been in Timmins, ON for a couple days speaking to numerous fathers, mothers, and people who work with families about the role of dad and where dads find themselves in the world of families today.  We talked about stereotypes of dads, how dads "feel" about being a dad, how men change and adapt their lives once they become a father, how dads and moms parent differently (not better or worse than each other), and lots of other things.  It has been a very rewarding, educational, and inspiring trip.

But one thing has been ringing in my mind.  One of the fathers began talking about the power of attitude.  He saw the value of being properly focused on the purpose of raising his children (2 of them - one daughter, one son).  He talked about how immaturity can disrupt our parenting - making us more focused on our own needs than on the needs of the children.

Brilliant.  It really reinforced the point the we need to stay focused on what is best for children.  And remember that what is best for the child is not always what will make them happiest.  We need wisdom to help them make good choices, even if they don't "feel" it is the best.

So, that brings me to a couple of thoughts about privilege and responsibility . . .

Being a dad is a privilege - it is a gift.  My dictionary says that one meaning of privilege is:  

• something regarded as a rare opportunity and bringing particular pleasure.  

It is a rare opportunity in that no one else will be the father of your children (though other men may influence your children) and it is a particular pleasure because your kids bring you many rewards.  It is something that only you will have with your kids.  It is something to not take for granted.
And with privilege comes responsibility - we can't avoid it.  If our kids are truly gifts to us, then we need to treat them that way - not as property, not as a right, not as an object - but with care, honour, and respect.  The responsibility is so important - and humbling.  I wonder if we too often hold on to the privilege without taking the responsibility as seriously as we need to.

And the dads who get this know the reward of balance.