Strong Fathers Make a Difference

Do I have what it takes to be the father my children need me to be?

It's a question that many men have.  Some guys ask it early - as soon as the little stick reads "Honey, I'm pregnant".  For other guys these things can take a while to sink in and its not until we are holding that wrinkly, shriveled bundle of joy that we suddenly realize "There is more to being a man than I first thought."  And still others of us don't grasp the gravity of the situation until our child suddenly talks back to us and we are awakened to the reality that "Boy, have I got a job to do with this kid."  And for those of us who don't get with the program until our child is suddenly graduating college . . . well, I'll leave that one be for now.

"Do I have what it takes to be the man my child needs me to be?"  This was first posed to me in a little book called "You Have What It Takes", by John Eldredge.  And I appreciate the perspective.  Too often men are assumed to be lacking, deficient, bumbling, and disinterested in their role as a father.  Parenting can be assumed to be mom's territory and dad just fills in now and then with a good laugh, an overzealous tickle fight, or a trip to McDonald's (for those of you with iron stomachs).  We need to change the assumption to Eldredge's language - you DO have what it takes.  Regardless of the question, you DO have the ability to care, nurture, enjoy, guide, communicate with, rough-house, irritate, embarrass, love, cherish, and lead your child.  That is what this blog is about - a man's innate ability to be the father his child needs, regardless of his past, of the number of children he has (and they will all need something different from you), of whether or not work lets you off for doctor's appointment, of how your father treated you, of how your mother treated you, of the relationship with your child's mom, of the expectations of the school, of the ways your child acts in public, or of the assumptions the world makes about dads in general.  You can lead a child to become a strong, resilient, healthy, vibrant, functioning adult (after all, we are raising adults, not children, you know).
So join me on this journey.  Pass your thoughts on to me through the comments.  A dad's life is a journey - and it is one that needs not be travelled alone.
Let's be the strong fathers our children need us to be.
www.strongfathers.ca