Bring Your Best

I've started to meet with a couple of guys every couple of weeks to talk about our lives, share some stories, laugh about some things, challenge each other on other things, and even (gulp!) shed a tear when the time is right.  We are doing a couple of things through this:  1) raising the bar for each other as husbands, fathers, and employees;  2) holding each other accountable to the commitments and ideas we hold fast to;  3) lifting each other up on our shoulders to the height of the "raised bar".  It takes one level of friendship to talk about the raised bar.  It is another level entirely to be part of one another's attempts to hurdle that bar.  Fatherhood is best done in the presence of a brotherhood of like-minded men.  It is not meant to be in isolation.  Perhaps it is in the presence of others that we are inspired, challenged, and urged to bring our best.

In our discussion last week, we were talking about what the heck we were doing getting up early to meet at a local park for 7 AM.  What was going to keep us coming and getting together?  One guy mentioned that the accountability to a couple of guys was enough to get him there.  There was no way "I would be able to blow you guys off".

That was one of those comments that just sort of hung there, longing for a response, begging for one of us to reach out and grab it.  The pause was pregnant with "Brian, do you blow off your kids?"  Are there things my kids need from me that I ignore and avoid?  Are there things my kids are asking for from me I am either too dense to realize or am too busy to notice or am too afraid to acknowledge?

Here are a couple of questions I've decided to ask myself to check on this:

• are enough of my conversations deep enough with my girls?
• do we spend enough time laughing?
• do my girls hear me love and respect their mom?
• do I know my daughters' hearts? their dreams, desires, hopes, fears, and dislikes

This entry has gone off in a bit of a different direction than I first thought.  It's making me think of the classic Harry Chapin song, "Cats in the Cradle".  I don't want to find out too late that I've blown off my kids without even realizing it.

Any thoughts on how we "blow off" our kids and maybe some signs that we are doing this to them?